What you go through to get through

Last night, I picked up Tracy Morgan's autobiography titled, "I Am The New Black" and read it from 11:00 PM till about 1:30 in its completion. It was a fun read, though a tad vulgar (and by tad, i mean Dirty South Hip-Hop vulgar). One of the things I took from it was what he had to go through to get through to where he is now as a person, performer and parent. His life was hard (dad died of AIDS, broken relationship with his mom, drug dealer, etc.) but in each trial and bad decision, he learned something about himself and used the experience to help him move forward or get through to his 'now'.
I thought for awhile this morning about things I've gone through as a kid, teen and adult. I thought about the people I worked with and what they may have gone through in their own lives...some grimy stuff, heartbreak, loss...I thought about the people I minister too and what they have gone through to get to where they are now, striving to be a healthy person led by His Spirit.
It's hard to judge people when we don't know their story, is it not? Yet we do it all the time. Kid with ADD is just loud and obnoxious, though we don't care to know about his home life. The girl who seems easy is just plain easy but we don't care to know about her lack of encouragement growing up. The dad who seems mean and inconsiderate is just that but we don't care to learn about the habits he simply picked up from his own dad. The one with bad finances is just that, though we don't care to learn about their lack of teaching.
Everyone has to go through mud before coming out clean and ready on the other side. No one is immune to it. We've all gone through life, haven't we? And hopefully, we can look back now and see what we've learned, accomplished and changed to make us better people and more available to help others. The mud keeps us humble, hoping and trusting that God will bring us out...and always on time, He does.
This week, let's all take time to learn one another's story...and learn about their journey from point A to point "wherever it takes them".

The typical 'It's been a while since I last blogged' blog

As the titled expresses, it has been quite some time since I sat in front of a screen/keyboard and talked about new adventures and pitfalls that affect me on a daily basis...well at this point, a few months. So this entry is less about feelings and writing a review of my life up to this point. Obviously, I'll be omitting some things for privacy's sake and because I don't feel like typing too much.

May - I'm pretty sure I did something exciting.

June - Summer started...pretty normal stuff. Ellie started sleeping through the night...still does it, which is awesome for Becca and I.

July - Vacation at home with Becca and Ellie. Turned out to be lots of fun though we never got to the zoo...maybe next year, baby:) (and by baby, I mean Becca, who loves the zoo like candy). Keith Smith approaches me to talk about switching roles at work. Confirmed something in my heart from a while back so we accepted, knowing what we'd be gaining but also losing. Got Becca a keyboard!

August - Worship at LPC with my wife and our friends. Lots of fun. Mission trip to the DR - Great last high school ministry event with students that i see as family. BitterSweet to say the least. Started my new job at Agincourt...privileged to welcome our new Sr. High Pastor while takin on the responsibilities of Jr. High and our wicked awesome Post-High population.

September - Celebrated 4 years with the love of my life (I need to celebrate her more everyday!). Ellie turned 6 months and weighed in just above average (if you saw her when she was born, you'd get why that's huge for me). Now she's a short little chubby cute baby! Started reading books again (was way to lazy before). Built some cool stuff with our SM staff. Bought a PS3...Becca plays it a lot more than me:). Started the p90x...didn't continue.

October -I'm still in it but it's been a challenge. I have gained weight. I have a lot more work to do (sermons, admin, team development, growing, etc. I am learning that I am not as strong as I think I appear and that I still need more work, which I think is a good place to be...I still learning about what it means to be a husband and that it connects with how I am a father and friend. Cool thing though - Had Eliana on my own for a weekend and did a great job.

...that's about it blog world...hopefully by November, I'll be p90x'n it again!

Gang Leader for a Day

This morning, I finished reading a book called 'Gang Leader for a Day', written by sociologist Sudhir Venkatesh. In the book, Sudhir spends close to 5 years studying gang culture in Chicago by living with and 'running' with an actual gang. His life is completely altered by what he sees in the projects of this city as he learns more and more about the power plays and hierarchy found in the apartment complexes.
On one particular section, the main antagonist, named JT, gives Sudhir the task of actually being the leader of his gang for one day. Many decisions end up going through him for basis of taxation of 'hoes', 'pimps' crackheads', 'shorties', 'squatters' and more. It was funny to read how he handled the pressure of being the boss and interesting to read about inner city life in its truest form instead of glorified on the TV screen.
Reading it got me thinking...what job would I want to do for a day? Here's my list:
President of a non-waring country
Owner of the Los Angeles Lakers
Investigative Reporter
Avon Salesman
Sleep tester
Dean of an Ivy League University
Lead Singer of a popular band that just fell off (to know what it's like to lose something huge)

What about you?

The next day

Everyone loves routine. Even the people who say they are unpredictable and hate routine have the routine of changing their routine. It's a scientific fact. My routines have changes a lot in the past 3 weeks since Eliana was born. In the mornings before I go to work, I let her lie on my chest and fall asleep. Even if she is already asleep I do this, just so she can hang with me before I go into the office. It's a sweet scene. Mom is on one side, playing with Ellie's hair while I'm kissing Ellie's head. Somehow that routine works for me. The church sometimes keeps me for long hours so to have that moment before I leave home means a lot to me.
A routine that I'm going to try to start doing is going to the library to do work. I never liked the library. I love books and reading but I hated the library because rather than working, I'd look around at books, listen to old records, try to find a table with a plug for my laptop...and never get work done. But I think I'm gonna try it out and see if I can get some reading in and some studying for the future.
Another routine - going to the gym. Many people have commented on my weight loss as of late and it's starting to get to me. I can't keep weight on no matter how hard I try. And believe me, I try but I think I need to get healthy in the worst way. So bring on the weights and the tuna because I need that protein!

Awesome moment of last week - Going to Van Johnson's house. Van is one of the coolest guys I know. He's like Stephen Colbert to me, hilarious, insightful and worth emulating. Becca and I brought Eliana to his house so he and his family could meet her. It was a blast. We stayed there for so long, laughing at birthing stories and baby pictures, watching TV, eating pizza and changing diapers. It was a great way to end the Easter weekend! It's one of those thing you don't do all the time, for fear of it losing its...je ne sais pas, you know. You don't every now and again to remind yourself of the awesomeness of friendship, the uniqueness of family and the joy of fellowship...though if he invited me over right now to watch 24, i would already be there:)

Lost Item

A few days ago, I realized that i misplaced my wedding ring. Now obviously the ring has major significance for me and my wife as it was and is a sign of our vows together (the circle that never ends represents our ongoing and on growing bond) so naturally it sucks when I go down to feel it and I feel nothing. I told her and she wasn't mad or upset at me but upset that I can't find it. Now I lose everything, mind you, so this was a matter of time (The fact that I've kept it so long is quite impressive actually) before it was missing. What I love about my wife is that with or without my ring, she knows that my vow is true and that I love her more than anything. I try to live those words out, those wedding vows with every breath I breathe and she reciprocates all the time. She doesn't need the symbol. Pretty cool, eh?

But it was expensive so I need to find it!

Soon!!!

1st Weekend

We brought Eliana home on Thursday afternoon after 24 hours in the hospital. The ride home was fun, as my car lead a family caravan from the hospital to the church. Becca's mom and and brother (with his wife and two kids in tow) joined us at the house for pizza, laughs and stories as we got Ellie used to her new digs. It was fun to have Chris and Marianne over as they were so kind and helpful to Becca and I. That night, we got our first taste of parenthood as we made shifts throughout the night to deal with the crying, diapers and whatnot. I must admit that I broke down at one point as she cried, looking at Becca with a face that said, 'I don't know what I'm doing'. Becca asked me point blankly to be strong for her and so I did by getting some rest and then taking over the morning duties.

The coolest thing ever was falling asleep on my couch at 6 AM till 7:30 AM with my daughter on my chest. She slept as I slept. It was a cool bonding experience. Throughout the day, I did whatever I could to help Becca as she got used to feeding every 3 hours, walking on swollen feet and other post-pregnancy stuff. So i was on cleaning/laundry/everything else duties. Becca's mom was with us too, so when we needed a nap to get ourselves all together figured out and rested, she stepped up for us!

My folks came up Friday night and cooked up a storm for us. It was cool to have two grandmothers (Nan and Gran) and one grandfather (affectionately known as Pop Pop) here to see their granddaughter, get to know her and to see us in action as parents. Even cooler was showing them we know what we're doing...sort of.

It's Sunday night, 11:33 PM and the house is empty besides the 3 of us. The ladies are sleeping while I'm waiting for the baby's clothes to be done in the dryer. The baby monitor is beside me in case I need to rush up to the rescue. But right now, the sounds of both of them sleeping is good enough for me.

Thanks God for another reason to know you're real, you love me and you love us.

Eliana

Wednesday March 25th at 12:36 AM , Becca's water broke.

This led us to 12 hours of intense labour, teamwork, tears and prayer. She was a trooper, Becca was. For 6 hours she went through pain i wouldn't wish on my enemies, only complaining at the end that it was too much for her. The baby was in a different position than we would have wanted, making it harder on her mom but mommy was tougher than nails.

The original doctor never really came to see us so that was hard on us, especially when the pain got too tough but Becca held on through the entire time. She was tougher than me (I had to leave the room to compose myself, admittedly) and tougher than most.

When she finally got her drugs, she made sure to sleep as much as she could to prepare for the pushing. By the time we awoke, we had a new doctor who was much nicer and who gave us great attention. When Becca had to push, she was great...the nurse cried out 'She has black hair...keep on pushing!!'

Wednesday March 25th at 12:36 PM, Eliana Dorothy Chase was born. She cried out once and then laughed as if to say 'hee hee...here I am, world and I'm naked!' She stared around with intense blue eyes at everything, hold on to my finger the whole time. It was and is something I will never forget. She is tiny but strong, loud and quiet, funny and serious, needy and independent...and she's mine.

And I wouldn't have her any other way.