Growing better, I suppose

So I just finished reading three books in 2 weeks.

I'm a nerd.

I know.

But I'm glad I have. The books have really stretched my thinking and my growth spiritually-wise. For the past while, I've focused solely on being a better leader, administrator. I haven't worked hard on being a better shepherd, christian, husband and friend. When God pushes truth in front of you, you have a couple of options:

1) Ignore his voice or feel like you're talking to yourself

2) Sit around and do nothing. Acknowledge that you have things to work on and that's it

3) Begin to purge out what's holding you and keeping you far from 100%

Number 1 and 2 are basically the same thing...I've heard him but done nothing for a while...blaming others for my lack of growth while sitting on my skinny butt. But his voice has become deafening...he's when it happened.

Last week Saturday, during our work day, my students asked me if they could bring certain types of music to our youth retreat. After I kinda said no, a phone rang which played a popular radio song, describing sex and they all sang it, in a...um...dirty manner, I guess:) And they didn't care that I was there and I realized something:

I AM NOT THE PROPER EXAMPLE I SHOULD BE. I DO NOT LIVE IN A REALM OF HOLINESS THAT CHANGES PEOPLE. I'M WAY OFF AND I NEED TO GO DEEPER.

So, the purging of my Ipod began which has been hard...slowly my movies will follow suit...words...tv...

I'm reading and praying more, seeking him...preparing for a big fast...i mean HUGE! I'm excited. I feel like a little kid! I'm reading 1 Corinthians...loving it. I learned something about myself based on 1 Corinthians 3:2...what I have thought was big tings has only been baby milk...God is still wanting to prepare me for the solid food. he just wants to take the world out of me...so do it, Lord. It is going to hurt. It is going to suck. I'm going to have to work on so much but I need this.

Growing better, I suppose...